You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
