absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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