I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i think my cat just said my name.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
