Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
