Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
