In the future we'll all be gay
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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