Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
