I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
