Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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