my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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