do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
