I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
