so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
