I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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