I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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