the day after is always just damage control
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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