Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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