im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
