Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
