shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
