Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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