Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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