no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
