If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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