I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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