I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
