can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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