hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
