dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
