She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize