Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The best revenge is premature balding
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
