Having a random hookup so left but love u
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
