i just google imaged poop.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
