been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
