Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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