He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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