She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
