Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
