I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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