drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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