he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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