i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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