Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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