look no pants
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
