redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
