you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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