I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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