We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The Olympian is in my bed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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