I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
