I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
