he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
