i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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