Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My vagina just recognized that song.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
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You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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