Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
