How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
