I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
