We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize