You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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