I think scott just propositioned me for sex
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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